The Art of Relaxation

The deed is done! We've successfully completed our IVF transfer! We ended up only having 1 embryo that was in good shape after the thaw, but we're feeling very optimistic!!!

Overall, it has been quite an experience and one that still has me shaking my head, finding it hard to believe that I can actually be called an infertile...and now an infertile who has gone through IVF! But this part, it was an exciting experience. We got to watch on the ultrasound the embryo being "released" into the uterus!! Very cool!


Honey waiting patiently!


Me, not so patient because I have a full bladder & it was freezing in the procedure room!


One excited couple! Here's hoping for good results!!!

Now for the 2ww!!!

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Um yeah, poke me here, poke me there!

I'm four shots in (yup, the painful ones leaving bruises and knots on my butt!) and some days seem harder than others! I sat there last night kind of caught up in the pain thinking to myself, am I really having to go through all of THIS to get pregnant? I sat talking with my sister the other day and mentioned to her that I really never thought that I would just not be able to get pregnant.  I mean, everyone says it, so I guess I thought it too. I am young, healthy, in relatively good shape (ok, climbing stairs does take my breath away, but doesn't it for everyone?) and no explained reason why I can't get pregnant!

But then I really let my self pity and wallowing get to me and had that quick lame thought...Why me? Why do I have to have shots in my butt every night, and a medication regimen to rival the best nursing home inhabitant just to get pregnant? Not only that, but I find that when you are getting ready to do an IVF transfer, you are willing to do anything to ensure that it has the BEST chances for success.  With that said, I found myself sprawled out on a doctor's table this morning with around 15 acupuncture needles  in various locations from head to toe (literally, I had one in my ear, a couple in my hands, in my tummy, my legs, all the way down to my ankles and top of me feet!)!



So I find myself less than 24 hours away from my very first transfer of possibly 2 embryos (leading hopefully to a baby or two) and that nasty little devilish creature called doubt, aka fear, is peeling his way into my generally enthusiastic, positive mind! I am hoping that the exploration with acupuncture this morning (which is my 2nd experience with it actually. I went last summer for my back pain and have to admit, I felt pretty good for a few weeks after) will help center my chi and bring back my focused, positive this is going to work attitude!

Take 'em out to thaw!

No, I am not talking about taking some chicken for dinner tonight and letting it thaw in cold water in the sink! =)

Yesterday was a big day in our IVF treatment (well, at least for our little one(s) to be!).  Our embryos for our transfer on Thursday are being thawed. As far as I know they are only going to thaw 2 of them.  I am praying that they are both solid and healthy and ready for transfer.  I can't help but wonder, are they thawing the first two embryos that reached blastocyst? They are going to choose the "best" ones, right? And do they know which ones are the best? Are they the first ones that reached that blastocyst stage or are they the ones that kind of took their own time? I am not sure if we will get an update from Dr. S prior to going in on Thursday, but I am thinking great thoughts about our little embryos!

With that said,  I can't express to you how badly my a$$ hurts right now! We are 2 days in to the progesterone in oil shots.  I feel like a UFC fighter came up behind me and laid a swift right cross into both of my cheeks! It's a constant kind of achey pain and the kicker is how there are knots where each shot was given.  I guess I'll just take the pain in the a$$ now and then have a perfect child because of it.  =) That's how it should work out right?! LOL! Here's hoping!

How would you do it?

The it I am referring to is parenting. It was so interesting having a little kid in our midst for over a week and seeing a glimpse of how the hubby and I handle our roles, so to speak, as "parents."  Now, don't get me wrong, we were definitely good at auntie and uncle, but it was great to see our common beliefs and ideas of how to handle certain situations take form.  Not many people get to do that before welcoming their own children into the world (ok, maybe those with large families and lots of babies around do, but neither the hubby or I grew up with lots of babies/little kids around). Plus, it was the first time, aside from quick family visits over holidays and such to be around our nephew for a long extended period of time.

The best part was watching my hubby in action. What an amazing man! He is going to be a great father some day and I have always known this, but it was truly the first time seeing him in action for more than just a couple of hours of visiting. He is so gentle and caring and was fantastic with my nephew.  He jumps right up to play with him and to amuse my nephew.  I loved it! 

The biggest question throughout the whole experience was How would we do/handle that with our own children? because of course, we were just reinforcing my sister and brother-in-law's expectations. But it really made us wonder how we would approach certain situations and among other things, discipline. I was grateful for the 9 days we had with our little man, but even more grateful for the experience of looking into my husband and I as parents in the making! It was the greatest start to our summer and one I hope to share with both nephews in future summers to come!

Ultimately, this leads me to my question(s) for all of you (those who for some reason have found yourself sucked into my little blog and thanks by the way). What do you consider your parenting style? Are you a very hands on parent? Do you believe in spanking (we didn't spank my nephew in case you were worried, but it is something I wonder about with regards to our own children, and something I experience a couple times growing up...but is it a thing of the past?)? Should I worry about my anal personality when I have children? Are you more laid back with raising your own kids? Does that more laid back personality come with a second child?  I am just curious.  How did your world/mindset/beliefs change once your little one(s) finally come into the world??



Of course, being Auntie means doing all the fun things!
Hope you loved your trip to Vegas little man!

 One last note, and completely off subject, we start progesterone in oil shots tonight! Haven't had a good shot in the ass in about a month, so I am a little nervous again.  Eek! Transfer is still on for this coming Thursday. Keep y'all posted.

Little Visitor

For the past 9 days we have had such a wonderful treat, my 5 year old nephew visiting! It has been a whirlwind of excitement and energy, that is for sure! I have to say, I think 5 was the perfect age to have him stay with us 7 hours away from home.  He was such a great little visitor! And boy did we have fun! The hubby and I were able to experience so much about the city of Las Vegas we hadn't before, and even more so through a child's eyes.

We went to 2 baseball games (AAA ball, but still fun) including one with the Las Vegas 51s playing the Reno Aces, my nephew's "home team" so to speak. We discovered the Natural History Museum (cool dinosaurs and Egypt exhibit), saw a couple of $1 movies at the theater to beat the summer heat, went swimming, played on the slip-n-slide, walked the pup every morning, and he even got to go with Uncle to football practice for a couple of mornings! It was a successful visit, and one I feel that he will remember for a long time!

This however is the part where I have to give a kudos to all my mommy friends out there.  I am not going to lie. Hanging with this 5 year old for just 9 days was beyond exhausting! He never stopped (well, not until bed time which seemed to come between 7:30 and 8:30 for the most part). And the kicker was, this little guy is a human alarm clock! He was guaranteed to be in our room saying good morning, playing with our pup or kitty in between 5:30AM and 5:45AM! =) Now, I have to admit, he totally fit in here. We are for sure early risers in this house, but man oh man, isn't there such a thing as sleeping in at least one morning here and there?! Although, it was a great excuse to get up, eat breakfast and walk the pup before the temps really started to rise!

So, as we go into the next week when we are scheduled for our IVF transfer, I have to say that I think I have certainly hit the point where I can 100% say that I am ready to become a mom.  I know we experienced a much different time with hanging out with a 5 year old who is potty trained and has no limits really, but I have been around this little guy since the day he was born! It was the greatest experience to enjoy all he has grown up to be at this time in his life and one that I am excited to experience one day with my own little ones! With that said, thanks sis (an bro-in-law) for letting me kidnap your 1st born for so long. I know this was hard, if not harder on you at points. And thanks little man for spending an amazing 9 days with me and Uncle! You brought so much joy to the beginning of our summer and gave us great laughs and memories! We love you! I'm thinking next year it's off to some MLB games and maybe Disneyland! ;)

Hurry up and wait!

Ever feel like you are on a path that is always go, go, go and then when you are ready and there (I guess there being what you think is your final destination), you have to wait? I feel like this is the point we are at in terms of our fertility ventures.  We went through the retrieval at the end of May, and then we were put on a transfer schedule for the middle of June.  When I went in for a blood test a couple days after the retrieval I was told I was going to need to wait for the next step (which was to start Estradiol, the starting process of meds for getting ready for the transfer of the embryos which are frozen at this time). They said my estrogen levels were too high.



So, I started Aygestin for 5 days to help place my estrogen levels at the right number. Then, more needles for another blood test. We were original going to do the transfer on June 20th (transfer schedule #1), but then because of the estrogen level snafu, they pushed it back a week to June 27th (transfer schedule #2). Now, I have to admit my impatience at this point is just because I have waited for so long and had so much done up to this point and feel so ready that I am just antsy! But, I completely understand and am fine with waiting as long as I need to in order to make my baby harboring environment 110% completely ready for this task! So, clearly it was time to move ahead with the newest transfer schedule (transfer schedule #2) which meant an appointment for my baseline ultrasound and blood test. This took place on Thursday, June 9th (woohoo for the last day of school and on to summer break!). I thought, what a great way to go into the start of summer! Well, got the call from Dr. S's office that afternoon to confirm what the ultrasound tech had kind of touched on that morning, my uterine lining was too thick. Looks like the transfer schedule was canceled yet again.

During the call that afternoon, the nurse told me that I needed to start taking the Aygestin again for another 5 days (from June 9th until the morning of June 14th) and then call on the first day of now what would be my 2nd AF in the matter of 7 days...oh joy! That ultimately though was a good thing because it allowed me and the honey to make a quick trip home to Northern Nevada to see family and friends for 4 days and to bring my nephew back to spend a week with us in Vegas (and wow has it been a FUN week! =) I am loving having my 5 year old little guy hang out with us)!

AF finally made her return visit on Friday, June 17th and I was back in Dr. S's office Saturday morning for a blood test and what they were calling my baseline ultrasound. I was praying for good news (and a thin uterine lining of course!). Cara, the ultrasound tech, said the uterine lining was looking great (gotta love being told that!) and that barring no problems with my blood test, I would be on again with a new transfer schedule (transfer schedule #3). We got the call yesterday afternoon as we were sight seeing with my nephew that all the tests looked great and we were on for starting the transfer drugs. Thus, last night I started the Estradiol (2 pills at a time, 3 times a day) and also wearing Vivelle patches which are estrogen patches (2 patches at a time for 3 days, then switch with new patches). Apparently I am going to overload with hormones again. In all honesty though, I told the hubby that I think my hormones must naturally be REALLY out of whack, because when I am on all these different drugs and such, I feel great...not emotional or moody as opposed to how I feel off of them. Hmmm, note to self, I will have to get on something post ttc to get those hormones in order.

Now we are into the meds and start blood tests and ultrasounds nearly every other day to monitor my uterus. Our hope is to have the transfer of up to 2 embryos (Dr. S won't do any more than that, good doc. Don't need an octomom experience here!) on June 30th! Fingers are crossed and here's to the perfect thickness of a uterine lining!

One of Those Things That Makes You Go..."Duh!"

Something that has been in the news that last couple of days that has caught my attention was the story about the "Octomom" and the doctor that implanted her with 12 embryos, resulting in her having octuplets!  FINALLY, this doctor lost his license as of last week.  The most shocking bit of information that I read in several articles was that this doctor overall implanted the Octomom with over 60 embryos, resulting in her having 14 children.  That is CRAZY!!!! What kind of a doctor is he? And more shockingly, how the hell did she ever pay for all of this? Funny business for sure was happening! I just can't believe it took almost 2 years for this man to be stripped of his license.  How did this guy ever make it this far?
Thank you justice system for finally stepping in and making it right! It was a no brainer!

That's it for my ranting...for now!