The Difference between Men and Women...

I have to say I have become so much more aware lately of what women go through in this world, especially when it comes to starting and taking care of a family, as opposed to men.  Mainly, this has come to the forefront of my mind because of the endless amounts of shots, medications, blood draws, appointments, etc. that I have had to undergo in just the past 2 months.  But I really became aware of this just this past week when my husband got sick. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband! He is the greatest husband and has been so amazing during this whole trying period.  But alas, I can't help but laugh at how hard this 6' 3" man's man "falls" so to speak when he is sick.  He isn't sick often, and hasn't been very sick in the last few years that we've been together beyond nasty sinus infections, but on Thursday he was struck with the stomach flu.  And wow, was I amazed at how the switch was hit and I all the sudden had a child in my midst.  =)



Don't feel like I am ripping on my hubby (ok, maybe just a little, lol!).  I was kind, gentle, caring and extra helpful during the 24-48 period that he wasn't feeling well.  He couldn't stop getting sick and by Thursday night had a 102* fever.  I really did feel bad for him and admit it was a little scary.  So he was in bed all day on Friday and by the time I came home from school on Friday, I could see he was feeling a little better.  Needless to say, we were very low key all day Saturday too just to make sure the flu had run it's course. Now, what brings me to my conclusion about how big of babies men are when they are sick...he kept complaining about back pain and making little moaning sounds when he got up.  I am sure I will get a lot of flack for being a little harsh, but I really feel like I have been through a ton physically lately, and I felt I kept my moaning to a minimum. I mean, after the retrieval on Tuesday, I couldn't believe how crazy painful the cramps were for nearly 6 days straight.

It is just funny how different men and women handle pain.  I have always heard that women  have a higher pain threshold, but I think it was evident to me for real this weekend.  =) In the end, we have both survived.  A bought of stomach flu gone and retrieval pain has passed.  This whole thought also got me thinking, what would men be like if they were the ones who had to carry the child? That is not the type of husband I think I would ever want to deal with.  LOL!

Fertile Myrtle?!

So I am can't exactly be categorized as a "Fertile Myrtle," or else I am sure I wouldn't have this ttc blog.  But I feel like I can toot my own horn today! I can say that my "reproductive parts" came through for me with the retrieval of 19 eggs! So, here is the gist of what it took...


Yesterday, I went in for the retrieval process after 10 days of 2-3 different kinds of injections (not the greatest part of the process, but a growth experience for me and my hubby to have together!).  On Sunday, we got the thumbs up to take a double trigger (2 shots to prepare for the retrieval). Monday was a sit and wait kind of day. Then Tuesday, all systems go.  The hubby and I went in for our 10:15am appointment.  I was sitting in a slim-to-nothing gown with an IV going by 10:30 and was in the operating room by 10:45.  The last thing I remember was the nurse who was going to knock me out telling me,"Now I've just given you a little something to help you relax.  It is going straight into your blood stream, so you should feel it pretty soon."  I look at her and smile.  Sure, yeah, whatever you say.  Then it hits! Woozy galore and I laugh a little and say to her, "Oh yeah. I think I feel it." Then...blissfully out! She later said that I was still awake at that point and talking with her because I still hadn't received the sedation drug (I've always been a cheap date, lol!).  Nice! Hope I was appropriate.  Knowing my woozy alter ego, I was probably barking directions.  =)

Half an hour later I was becoming more aware of things. At that point, the nurse said that my hubby could come  back and sit with me since I was the last patient that morning.  For some reason I started crying.  Haha! The nurses, being their sweet selves, just kept saying it was the drugs.  Classic me move! Soon, Dr. S came back and told us that it went really well and that they retrieved 19 eggs.  He also let us know what card had been pulled since we were a part of the freeze study.  We were chosen for the blastocyst stage, meaning that our fertilized eggs would be frozen 5 days later.  How exciting! I have a great feeling about it all and we got some more good news today.  The doctor called and said that 13 eggs were fully fertilized.  Still good numbers! Now we wait for another update in 2 days, on Friday, to see how many have made it up to that point.

The funny thing is what my hubby said at dinner.  We were sitting, eating when he looked at me as said, "We have 13 kids." I looked at him funny, thinking he just randomly mentioned how maybe his old baseball team had 13 kids come out to practice. Then I got it.  He was proud of our fabulous number of possible little ones.  I love it. Way to think positive honey! Of course, then he said we could field a soccer team, a football team or a baseball team.  I added, we could still have some left over for cheerleaders! Oh, nothing like taking life in stride!

And even though I am not the typical candidate to be considered a "Fertile Myrtle," I will gladly wear my badge of honor for this esteemed current accomplishment! =)

Um, Really?!

There's nothing like having an awkward moment while at the baby/va-jay-jay doctor's office.  I am sitting in Dr. S's office, waiting for him and the nurse to finish some business down there, if you know what I mean, counting possible and potential eggs, and I'm just minding my own business.  I find I need a little distraction and I am zoning out, listening to the over head speaker belt out some music.  I remember thinking, good dance song. It was a Justin Timberlake and although my mind is completely drawing a blank on the song title right now, I know I know this song.  Gotta love Justin's beat rocking throughout the doctor's office.


 Then, as I am mouthing along the lyrics, I stop dead in my tracks.  Did that song really just say something about getting me naked? Oh, yeah, that's not awkward and completely playing at the wrong moment?!  I have to muffle a burst of laughter.  Well, I have survived another ultrasound and blood test, and am mildly amused that I get to walk away with a little funny/awkward moment all my own.   

Pain in my...

Yup, I am talking about quite literally having a pain in my dupa, as a friend of mine would call it.  When you finally make the decision of going ahead with IVF (in-vitro fertilization), one of the many things you sign up for includes taking medciations through injections...several of them! One of the injections, Menopur, has to be injected directly into your muscle and apparently the butt is the best place to hit such a muscle.  =)

We are 3 days in to our injections, at 2 injections a day (the one in the dupa with a 3 1/2 in., 25g needle, and then a smaller needle into the fatty part of my belly).  I'm not going to lie, the very first day before my hubby even stuck me with the first needle, I burst in to tears.  Yup, cried like a baby...and yes, I did mention I didn't even get stabbed yet! I think the initial fear got the best of me.  It's daunting to step into the unknown, especially when the stakes are so high. And to top it off, I have never really been found of needles.  My hubby, being the loving guy he is, got up and got my iPod, plugged in the headphones and sent me into a little alternate universe (which I gladly went to with eyes squeezed shut)! 5 minutes later I opened my eyes, looked at him and burst out giggling.  "That wasn't so bad!"

Now, I am not going to say that having 2 needles plunged into your body every night is an enjoyable event (that is I guess unless you are Rihanna and you like S&M...hehe), but I am glad it is not as bad as I thought! With that being said, I am finding that I am having a lingering pain in my dupa area due to the meds coursing throughout my muscles. I guess now I could tell my students they are literally adding to the pain in my a$$! =) We'll just see how I feel about these injections after the 12 days are up!

Rumors

Working with teenagers definitely makes for interesting and very amusing days. The last 7 years have also completely confirmed that I could never be the type of person working closed up in a cubicle, doing the same thing day in and day out. 



With that being said, teenagers seem to think that because you're their teacher that they have rights to know about your personal life. The funny thing is, I find myself giving them more information than I even intend to (my 5th period thinks they could write a book about me). Seeing the same kids for an hour each day, and more if they think they really like you and tend to see your room as a place to come and hang out in before and after school, for 175+ days allows for them to really get to know you.  I sometimes think that I divulge a little too much to them at points, and it's amazing what they can get me talking about, but it really makes for funny conversations with these little people half my age.  This year my students have seem to become obsessed with my having a baby. This is the case so much so with one of my classes that they have even wanted to have a conversation about naming babies. "Miss, name your baby Luis," says Luis. 



You gotta love them. Well, in the past couple of days I have had to get blood drawn in the morning and that has caused me to get coverage for my class because I would be a little late for the start of class.  Of course, they are all dying to know, "Miss...why are you getting blood taken?" I told them that the doctors wanted to technically classify me as crazy/insane, but they didn't buy that.  Then three boys chimed in and made some off the wall comments.  I didn't understand what they were saying or getting at, and finally one boy says, "Well, we think it's because you're pregnant." They were so matter of fact.  I burst out laughing. Oh, gee if they really only knew huh?!  I told them I could guarantee I wasn't pregnant and had a couple girls ask if I was sure.  They are so funny.

Now this class thinks they know some secret.  LOL! I walked in today after fasting for the blood draw this morning and then grabbed a bag of Cheez-its to eat.  One of the boys told me I should watch what I eat because now I am eating for two.  They swear up and down I am keeping it from them.  I love their commitment to what they believe.  =) I keep asking them if they only think that because I have a gut.  Haha! Needless to say, it is amazing how these kids seem so enthralled with my life.  I find that I even happen to be a topic of some lunch conversations as a student walked in after lunch exclaiming, "Miss, you're pregnant?!"

I am hoping by the time that school starts in the fall I will finally be able to share some exciting news with them. Until then, I look forward to the last few weeks of school and to the many witty comments from my little "know it alls!" I might just start having some fun with them and give them some funny diagnoses.

What Makes a Mother?

To start off today, Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful women I know who are mommys, are about to be mommys, and of course those who someday will become mommys!

As I walked around at a little Farmer's Market today, I had several of the venders that I bought from wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  This got me thinking...can I not take it as a compliment, even though I myself have not given birth to a child? Not sure "raising" two fur babies counts exactly, but I'll grasp at whatever I can! What exactly (beyond of course the qualifying pushing a watermelon sized child through a very small, private area) can make someone a mother? Just because a woman didn't give birth to you, does that mean you can't love, respect, and honor her as a mother? IMHO (I love this acronym, it means in my humble opinion) I think that a "mom" is someone who...
*loves a child unconditionally
*is there to teach a child right, wrong, love, forgiveness, patience, understanding, life lessons as well as manners...and as we know, the list goes on and on
*is there to brighten a child's day
*listens when a child needs to vent
*yet, gives advice when she knows it is needed
*gives a hug when that little moment is helpful
*cheers loudly with smiles and encouraging words for a child
*And the list is endless!

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. And some mother-figures come into your life when you least expect it. I truly believe that Mother's Day is a day to look at those women in our lives who do their little part, show that extra bit of love and concern, and just want nothing but the best for us.

I want to send lots of love and hugs to my mom today. I don't think she will ever know how truly wonderful I think she is. She has made my life so full and happy, with endless love, laughs, experiences and lessons! She has taught me what it means to love unconditionally and has showed me what I only hope I can someday emulate as a mother myself. I also want to send love to my mother-in-law who has loved me since the moment I followed her son into her house and scared the crap out of her! =) She has always called me the daughter she never had, and has embraced me over the last 4 years like she has had me in her life since the day I was born! And to my sister, who I have watched embody motherhood over the past 5 years, you are amazing! You have showed me how important humor is for mothers.  I admire you for all you do and look forward to someday sharing many more experiences together as mother twins!

Finally, to all those mothers in my life...my friends who I have watched move on to a whole new chapter of our lives of becoming mothers, you are all beautiful! You have allowed me to be a close part of your lives and now your children's lives and I thank you for that.  You are all doing such an amazing job and I appreciate you all "keeping it real" for me, never shying away from telling me how tough motherhood can be at times...because we all already know that it a beautiful experience like no other.  And those who have treated me like a child of your own, you have helped shape me into the woman I am today and although not without faults, I am all the better because of you!

Happy Mother's Day all!!! And remember, some "mothers" may not exactly be the woman who gave birth to you, and how lucky you are to have more than just one "mom" in your life!

Holy Hormones!

Everyone loves getting mail right?! Well, not bills or junk mail, but I love it when I am surprised by a card or something I ordered from Amazon. =)  Today however I was a little overwhelmed by the mail I received. In the past week we have decided to go ahead in the process of baby making by taking the route of IVF. So after a call and a payment equivalent to a small (ok, maybe a medium sized) purebred English bulldog, I received a Fed Ex package today. 

 I have to admit, my stomach twisted a bit.  There is nothing like opening a package to see packs of different needles and medication and know that within a week's time you will be taking said medication. My biggest fear...the shots! I would not say that I am a fear of needles kind of person, but the thought of me, or even scarier my husband, giving those shots makes my nerves jump a little.  I have to say, at this point I kind of feel like this kid in the picture!

You know that kid was thrilled to death (pun intended) to participate in such a monumental event, but that doesn't mean he isn't so nervous and scared that he didn't change the color of his pants either! I think the scariest part of this whole process is the not knowing...not knowing what we are getting ourselves into, not knowing how I am going to react to the meds (especially the hormones!), not knowing how bad these shots really are going to hurt, not knowing if this is going to lead to a little one or not.  We all have a fear of the unknown.  My friends who know me best would agree, I don't like going outside my comfort zone, acting outside the box, coloring outside the lines so to say. I am the kind of person who orders the same thing every single time I go out to eat...and why not?! If you know you like the turkey sandwich and broccoli cheese soup at Jason's Deli, then why not guarantee yourself a satisfying and worthwhile meal? ;) 

But sometimes life just requires it of you...to divert outside the city limits of Comfort. And ultimately that can lead to some of the best things in your life.  Here's to it, jumping in with both feet! And beware, I've been told my hormones will be on a bit of a roller coaster (HA, as if I wasn't already a basket case!). Can't wait to see what the bus to Crazytown looks like from this point of view!