Decision Day has arrived. We have come to the point where the hubby and I have to make a decision about our remaining embryos. We received a letter from the fertility clinic stating that we had 7 embryos remaining and there were three options. Option number one, store them for another year at the cost of $500 (um, don't have that just laying around...especially with two baby boys). Option number two was to discard or destroy them. Option number three was to donate them. Wow, I have kind of thought about this, but I guess not really. What to do, what to do??? We already had made the decision that we were done as far as adding to our family. We have our two beautiful baby boys and feel content to be a family of four. I know, many of you are shaking your heads and thinking, You never know! You might decide in two years or so that you want more! I have to be honest, I don't want more. Having twins, two babies at once, is an experience all it's own, and being able to do that and only have to go through one pregnancy, I'm golden. I have said since I knew I was having twins (and since I was sicker than a dog during my first trimester) that God knew I could only handle being pregnant once, so he graced me with my two then! And don't get me wrong, I feel that beyond the morning sickness of those first 16 or so weeks (remember people, I lost almost 20 lbs, so I was SICK!), I feel like I had a great pregnancy, so don't think that I hated the whole experience. I felt great actually the rest of the time and the only discomfort was really having a foot or two up in my ribs.
So, I would say that I had a great pregnancy, but I am happy having experienced it once. That's what I really wanted. I did it and I am good. A lot of people keep saying too, don't we want to try for a girl? Hmmm, as much as I would love to add a girl into our male dominated family and extended family (since my sis has two boys too), I am not much of a gambler. LOL! I am of the mind set that I am pretty sure I would keep having boys no matter how many times I got pregnant. Isn't that how it happens? =)
With that all being said, we knew we didn't need the remaining embryos. On to the big question then...what do we do with them? I personally have a very strong opinion about this, as does my husband. They just happen to be the exact opposites! Of course. We are like that a lot...feel very strongly about things and a lot of times, the exact opposite of what the other wants. Hehe, it's what makes us work. I believe wholeheartedly in donating them. Hubby thinks we should discard them, and I get why he feels that way. But I feel deep in my heart that donating is the only way to go. Hubby has a hard time thinking there will be other "us's" out there. Wouldn't that be weird? he keeps asking. He gets caught up on what they might look like, how can we know that there might be little people out there that are technically biological siblings to our little guys? But all I can think about is if we were in that position...the position of not having quality or viable eggs and sperm...I would try any way possible to be able to carry a baby (not that I am against adoption, that would just be another step down the road once fertility treatments were exhausted). So why wouldn't I "help" out another couple if I could? That's the only way I can think about it. This is our way of helping a hopeful, trying to conceive couple. I guess it just makes sense in my head....and my heart. My hubby, he still isn't completely on board but has agreed to go along with it, for me. He is so wonderful like that. I know I can never truly explain to him why I feel the way I do about it (he is a man, he only thinks with one side of his brain, my guy!), but I am grateful he is willing to let me have the say here. And so, we are donating 7 embryos, out into the world (well, even closer, the same city...ok, that is a little weird) to what I hope is a very wonderful, loving couple. As I told the hubby, there is no guarantee that they will become anything (geez, we know from experience as a couple of ours didn't take or terminated after implanting), but even if just one does, I am glad we are putting them out there for a couple who wants a baby just as bad, if not more, than we did!
So, what are your thoughts on this? I asked a group of friends recently and was really surprised how many said they wouldn't be able to donate either. And many were shocked that we were going to at least hang on to them another year. It was interesting to hear all these thoughts. No matter what though, I feel confident in our decision and with my little embryos the best of luck and hope they make it to very good homes! And to find some humor in this, I did tell my hubby how appealing we at least look on paper! LOL! Two well educated, active and healthy teachers...gee, I think I'd choose my embryos too! Those would make some good looking babies! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment