The Million Dollar Question...

Although you might think the question is, do you know the genders yet or are you going to find out (absolutely we will be finding out...I couldn't have 2 little beanies come into my world without being as prepared as possible! We should know in a few more weeks.), you would be mistaken.  The million dollar question was asked by a close friend of mine last week.

"So, are you enjoying pregnancy?"

The thing is, my dear friend is around every day and I know as soon as she asked, she totally tried to recant her question, alluding to the fact that she knows how I am feeling so far about pregnancy.  It is KICKING my butt!  Really, I have to say, I am enjoying the fact of knowing that I am carrying around 2 little ones, and I am completely enjoying the ultrasounds we get to see the beanies (and boy do we get a lot of them. We will have one every couple of weeks not only through my OB but also through our perinatalologist because we are having twins and considered high risk for a couple other reasons).  However, I am not enjoying all the other aspects of pregnancy that my body seems to be absorbing.  Morning sickness, as I have mentioned before, has taken over.  And it lasts morning, noon, and night.  I have good days but then they seem to be out numbered by the bad days. 

I am slowly starting to get some what of an appetite back, but not nearly to the ravenous point that it was at pre-pregnancy (those who know me know I could always put down some food!). I can't really finish a complete meal.  It usually is a couple of bites and then that no-so-good feeling hits my stomach.  Then I throw in the towel and unfortunately throw away the rest of the meal.  I have gained a couple of pounds back of the initial 15+ I lost, but that is slow going.  The irony of it is, a lot of people keep telling me how good and skinny I look. Hey, at least I am going in a little lighter with these 2, just means I can pork on a little more once I do start packing on the pounds.

They are growing strong.  According to thebump.com, they are the size of a plum this week.  Crazy! I just ate a plum today and have to tell you, that is a lot bigger than I realized.  They are approximately 2 inches long and weigh in at about 1/2 ounce.  And the growing will start to increase rapidly from this point on. Baby B was moving around a lot today during our first ultrasound with our perinatalologist, and according to the ultrasound tech, was totally squashing Baby A.  I guess we know who is going to be the bully of the 2.  =) We did do the 1st trimester screening and there was a little concern with the amount of fluid measuring behind Baby B's neck (this is called the nuchal translucency screening) so they are doing a blood test and we should know more by the beginning of next week.  We are just continuing to pray for 2 healthy babies!

We finally graduated from the fertility clinic and had our first official OB appointment on Sept. 28.  It was exciting and I love my OB.  And we had our very last blood test with the fertility clinic on Thursday, the 29th, finishing our last fertility med (the progest powder pill) on Monday, the 26th.  Woohoo.  It has been almost 9+ months that we have been going to the fertility clinic, getting blood tests every few days among many other tests.  Crazy! We are moving on baby!!! =)

Well, as much as I could keep talking about these little ones and all the milestones they are reaching, and the ups and downs they are putting me through, I think it is finally time to head off to bed.  Thanks for all the continued well wishes and prayers.  We'll keep you all up to date as we continue to head off to all our upcoming appointments.  Night all!

And just to keep everyone smiling...pictures of the twins below!


Baby A looking cute as can be!

Baby B finally sitting still for a shot!

Milestones are grand!

What? An update?  No way! Didn't she fall off the face of the Earth?!

No, no. I didn't fall off the face of the Earth, but it sure has felt like that.  The last few weeks have been pretty rough.  It seems that pretty much as soon as I hit 5 weeks, so did a little thing called morning sickness.  And let me tell you...there is no such thing as it just happening in the morning.  Not in my case anyway.  I am sick morning, noon, evening, and even in the middle of the night. Oh joy.  But I know with those many waves of nausea and puking in the sinks and shower (sorry for the graphic details), that two little beanies are continuing to grow.  And wow are they growing.

We went in for our final ultrasound with the Fertility Center and with Dr. S! It was a bitter sweet appointment.  I have been going to this office for blood draws and ultrasounds every week or two since just about March.  Crazy to think, it's finally time to move on.  Milestones I tell ya!

We went in on 9w6d.  Dr. S was very sympathetic for my continued ralphing over the past few weeks, shall we say, and just kept telling me to drink LOTS of water and keep taking the medication to help kick it down a notch.  And for the most part, the meds have seemed to help.  There are some days that I can take it, and low and behold, it does nothing.  But mostly it kicks in and is a life saver.  I have fortunately been making it through my days at school.  Luckily, no running out on any of my classes.  I think I mentally force myself to hold back.  But some days as soon as the last bell rings, I am making a run for it.  Just have to say, I am grateful to be right across the hall from the bathroom!

So, back to our last appointment.  It went well.  Dr. S told us, and I quote, we have "some bruisers growing!" What does that mean exactly?! Well, it means that even just at a mere 10 weeks along, we have some huge babies growing.  Just the thing to make this already nervous pregnant chick a little more scared.  =)  He said they are doing wonderful.  What was really amazing and really got to me and the hubby was how much they were moving.  I think it was something both of us needed to see, but boy did it catch us both off guard.  They both were moving so much, Dr. S was having a hard time getting measurements. In the picture below, you can kind of tell that Baby B was moving as the picture was taken.  Ah, already workin' the camera!


9w6d along

Apparently, they are now the size of prunes.  It is so funny to see how they base the measurements on food on thebump.com.  Speaking of food, I am slowly but surely getting a little more food down every day...depending on the day.  At 8 weeks along, I did my weekly weigh in on our home scale.  It became evident that all the sickness and no eating was not a good thing.  I have dropped 15lbs since I became pregnant.  Trust me, I am not worrying too much.  I am sure once my appetite and love of food returns, I will easily and quickly put that 15 lbs on plus some. 

So, as for now, we just continue to take it week by week.  We are excited to have "graduated" from the fertility center and move on to our OB/GYN.  I am grateful my doctor actually takes on multiples and high risk pregnancies.  We have our first appointment on Wednesday.  We are looking forward to it.  Now, we just look forward to every Saturday and another week down (and I keep saying little prayers that the morning sickness is working its way out of my system).  I am hoping that as most people say, I will lose the sick feeling and start to get more energy.  With that, maybe I'll even get back into blogging more than once in a blue moon! I hope everyone is well and say again, thanks for all the love and support we continue to receive.  And I'll be in touch with more milestones soon!!!

Have a great rest of the weekend all!

Today's lesson: Irony

Well, last week marked the start of my 7th year of teaching (8th year at GV) and wow was it a long week.  =) I feel very excited about my year and my group of kids seem like they may survive me, which is always a good thing! LOL! I figured irony was a great title to this post because it is so relevant.  Not only has it already been brought up in my classroom (I have some smart kiddos), but it seems to be the bane of my existance right now.  Why, you may ask.  Well, because of how I have been feeling and what it means.

The common question I get lately is "How are you feeling?" I try to smile and say ok or good, but really I end up looking all depressed and saying, "I feel like crap!"  The worst part is, I am so excited to be here and in this situation! This IS what I have wanted, prayed for, begged to experience.  But two and a half weeks ago, my body went AWOL on me and decided that even though food and I usually have a lovely relationship, it was going to kick food to the curb! Let me translate that...I can hardly eat and when I do, it is not much. And most of the time it is a gamble...Do I feel lucky today?! Let's just say, I have really started chewing my food into much smaller pieces!

So, this fits in perfectly into an example for irony because although I feel completely crappy (that may be a bit of an understatement), it is a great thing.  It means the little beans are growing and although I hate it every time my tummy gets an aching pain and I know I am in the need for a few saltines and some water, I am grateful to know they are still in there and taking full advantage of the cush environment I have for them. 

With all that being said, I have recently learned that I need to take it easier more now than ever.  I unfortunately let my "morning" sickness get the better of me this past Sunday (yeah, and let it be said, there is nothing about my sickness that just happens in the morning...it is ALL day long lately).  I ended up getting sick every hour (all while on a drive back to Vegas from my BFFs beautiful wedding).  Thankfully my sister (you are amazing T, love you!) jumped in the car to drive me home without hesitation.  There is nothing like puking all morning and then going for a 6 1/2 hour car drive to continue that feeling.  Needless to say, it didn't get better but worse.  When all was said and done, I called Dr. S and he told me to go the ER stat, that I was going to be severly dehydrated and that is no bueno for the beanies.  So off to the ER we went, my hubby, sis and I.  Fortunately, being preggers gets you a fast pass to a bed in the ER. We were there for a total of 2 hours, I got one solid, large bag of fluids (the IV in the arm made me weep like a hysterical baby), and I got a double dose of Zofran (an amazing anti-puking med).  After paying a small arm and a leg, we had a prescription for more anti-puking meds for my very rough mornings and were home to rest for Labor Day.

I am feeling much better now and am hoping to get this puking epidemic under control (here's hoping!). We have another blood test this week and a 3rd ultrasound next week.  I don't remember if I mentioned it in the last post or not, but we did get to see some heartbeats!  Two strong ones...133 and 132.  Grow beanies grow!


(They kind of look like little seahorses right now! This is them at 6w5d)

Now, I just look forward to every meal that I can actually hold down and am hoping I follow the stories of those who said their sickness only last the first trimester and not those like my nurse at the ER who said hers lasted 9 months.  Really?! Why do some feel the need to really scare the first time preggo with tales like that?! That is just another post entirely! Well, night all and thanks again for all the continued love and support.  It means the world to us!!

5w3d...That's code for so far, so good!

Moving forward! We have made it to the point where we were able to go in for our first ultrasound today. I couldn't sleep at all this morning, my tummy was doing flip flops. Definitely nerves more than excitement I think. As you can tell by the title, we are 5 weeks 3 days along.  That is exciting in the IF world, but barely a blip on the radar in the pregnancy world. Many people don't say publicly that they are pregnant until they are through the first trimester...that would mean us not saying anything for another 7 weeks.  Me keeping my mouth shut for another 7 weeks?  Ha, not sure how long I could last (clearly not long since I have decided to blog about it).

Also, I really needed today to happen.  I had this horrible feeling that we would go in and Dr. S would say there wasn't anything to see on the ultrasound (although, I am sure all my headaches and queasiness would say otherwise).  As soon as he walked in the room, he said Hi, gave me a big old smile and hand shake and then said, "You look very worried. Are you ok?"  I told him I was fine, just nervous.  He assured me that he would have known by the numbers previously if anything wasn't right. He's so sweet and reassuring.

Then we got down to business.  Dr. S just looked at the screen for a minute (which I couldn't see at this point) and said, "Well, you're definitely pregnant. And...long pause for dramatics I'm sure...there's two!" Insert an emotional burst of tears and there we are! The hubby was by my side to see when they turned the screen in our direction and asked if they were tears of happiness.  Of course they were.  I was so fearful of this one not working out like the last, I felt it hard to believe my numbers were high and rising rapidly.  I needed more reassurance.  Nothing that I guess a beautiful ultrasound can't cure!!!

So here they are, are beanies.  They are each the size of an appleseed right now.  We have another ultrasound next week to make sure there are just two, one in each sac.  =) LOL! I think we'll take this crazy enough status as it is, with 2 little beans!!!


We still have quite a ways to go!!!   We won't be REALLY in the clear until we hit 9 weeks pregnant and then Dr. S will release us to my OB/GYN. After that point, miscarriage would be less than a 2% chance.  I will eagerly get through each day saying many prayers and lots of positive thoughts. 

Grow beanies grow!!!

I've Been Avoiding You Haven't I?!

If you think I have been a little quiet on here and posting about kind of obscure, non-transfer related things, you are probably right.  Why?, you may ask. Well, after our successful transfer in June and that loss, I got scared.  Really that's all I can chalk it up to. It's scary putting yourself out there and having people really care about and congratulate you, and then having to explain that it didn't work out (silly thing is, I guess it's easier to do it through a blog then in person).  Duh! Now I know why they tell people to get through their first trimester before going public.  But, with that said, I feel like the IVF world is a little different because some people know you are going through the process and eventually the gig is up, you have to have some news (also, because a couple months ago I made the conscious effort to start a blog about my crazy life...note to self- if I really didn't want people knowing, I guess I wouldn't blab it on the internet.  LOL!).  =) So, with that being said, I'm sure most of you have put two and two together and realized that it's been 14 days since our 2nd transfer. And if that's the case, you are sure that we must have some news.  LOL! Well, we do.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, the most important thing after a FET (frozen embryo transfer) is the hCG levels.  Well, we have been eagerly watching mine, and let's just say, they are more impressive than the first go around. I have had 5 blood tests since our transfer and the numbers are more than doubling (that is great!).  I wish I could say I am jumping for joy, but I think my mind is taking over my heart this time around.  We have classified ourselves as cautiously happy! I am sure the caution will eventually dissipate, but that will take a little time. 



So, I figure for those of my friends who are teachers, we have all been away from school for a little too long and I am sure we all need to get back into that mindset of school.  What better to get us in that mindset than good 'ole numbers (I as an English teacher would prefer some good literature, but I figure the NY Times article in the last post could qualify as that). These are my hCG levels/numbers (and I know most of you are IVF/FET-illiterate, but I assure you, these are good numbers...high achieving numbers like me!):
Beta #1 (8/7/11-4dp5dt) - 17
Beta #2 (8/8/11-5dp5dt) - 59
Beta #3 (8/10/11-7dp5dt) - 185
Beta #4 (8/13/11-10dp5dt) - 546
Beta #5 (8/15/11-12dp5dt) - 1624

Now what? We continue to live life, relax as much as possible, and continue to be poked for more blood tests as well as prepare ourselves for some other tests coming up.  As always, I will keep you posted.  There may be a  little break here and there as school is getting ready to start, but I will not forget about those of you who are loyal followers (I'd say Thanks Mom at this point, but I don't think she has figured out how to become one of my 16 actual followers yet. hehe!). Thanks again all for the love and support! Enjoy the rest of your summer, as short as it is.  Maybe dream of a paradise like the one below to get you through your work week if your summer did not allow a hiatus from your job! =)

Pregnant with Twins but...they only want one. Crazy!

Wow is all I can say after reading this NY Times article. It is a little long, but worth it. I just think, I can't imagine if me or my twin weren't born! How can someone really make that choice just because they think that having twins is going to be more exhausting or they won't be able to handle it? I mean, I understand, trust me.  I am 1/2 of a whole (I know the trouble twins can get into, I lived it!), but to actually  go through everything you can to try to get pregnant and have a baby (because most of these reductions are done for IVF patients), then you take the risk of eliminating one.  It just baffles me! Read the article and tell me what you think.  I am interesting in hearing your thoughts. I want to say I understand and can see why in some cases, but I just can't. 

The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy


http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?pagewanted=all

Sneaking into my Subconcious

It seems that no matter how much you tell yourself you are NOT going to think about something, your subconscious doesn't feel like it has to follow along.  Anyone going through fertility treatments knows the agony of the 2WW (2 week wait-that period between the transfer and the determining blood test to confirm pregnancy). Well, I feel like my first time around and that experience set me up for more "unwanted" thinking this time around.  For some reason I think my lack of knowledge (especially with knowing about hCG levels) was actually a benefit after our first transfer.  Why you ask? Because it seems that this time around I am neurotically waiting for the typical afternoon phone call after the blood test each time to know what my hCG levels are (these are what ultimately signal whether someone is pregnant by showing if the number is doubling in a 48-72 hour period). And it has been so on the forefront of my mind that I actually had a dream JUST about numbers two nights ago! Let's think about this...I'm an English teacher, not a math teacher.  My mind doesn't see numbers beyond how much something costs or points for an assignment, stuff like that. 

When I woke up the next morning, I just sat there in a daze for a few minutes.  NUMBERS...numbers going up, doubling, watching and hoping and praying for the numbers.  Geez, I kind of feel like someone with huge investments in the stock market right now! Guess I just have a different kind of investment.  =)

So, we continue to wait.  I think part of my anxiousness comes this time around too because even when we get the results from the actual pregnancy test, I still won't believe it because of what happened with our last transfer.  It is one of those points in time where I will be excited for a moment I think (that's assuming we get the GREAT news we are hoping for) and then will go back to worrying about the next blood test and the numbers.  UGH! The human mind...our own minds...they can play such nasty tricks on us.  And I know as many people have told me, Don't worry about it and just relax...trust me, I am trying.  No matter what, I will try to take it one day and one blood test at a time.  Just a little update as of now, we had a blood test Sunday (4dp5dt) and on Monday (5dp5dt) and the numbers went up considerably and Dr. S called to tell us there had been implantation.  That is a great first step! Now........we.......just.........continue.......to........wait. =)